As a think back on my fifty-three years of life, and the times when I have faced my most significant fears (fear of: heights, water, tests, being good enough, intimacy…oh, must I go on?), I realize that most of my important life’s lessons, my times of greatest growth, have occurred at these epic moments when I have faced those fears or somehow lived through coping and/or dealing with them. Fear can be an amazing teacher, something that can put us in touch with who we are and our greatest internal resources.
If we live long enough, we will all face that which we most fear. Be it the death of a parent, the loss of a child or spouse, or our own difficult health issues, and eventually- the real boogieman in the closet- our own death. If we push these trials and tribulations out of our minds, if we do not have healthy ways of dealing with them as they arise, they can shut us down, dampen our spirits and bring us daily doses of discontent. Denying these dreadful moments will not keep them away, they will keep us away… from living full and loving lives.
I have found, with no uncertainty, that doing the practices of the Love, Loss, and Forgiveness Project and interacting with others who do them as well, that I have developed both a workable toolkit for coping with fear and uncertainty and a reliable community that helps me stay present for those difficult “presents” that life will surely throw my way.
2 comments:
53 is so very young, John! Yet that was Jan's age when he died. What ever our age, we need to be up to date. We need to say what we have to say to ourselves and others, and the only things worth saying are related to love and connectedness and to forgiveness if we are carrying a heavy load. Jan and Magda did just that as did their 4 children. Magda said that she feels that she wouldn't have survived Jan's death if she hadn't practiced LLF for many years, and the children all attended one or more LLF family days where they were able to say these things to their parents and each other before death did them part.
Jan reminded me yet again to be prepared, and that goes a long way in reducing our fear of both living and dying.
Keep reminding me, dear John! Much love, Michael
Thank you John and Michael... Love you both..much love, Suzie
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