The Welcome Book is here!

The Project's Welcome Book is now available and can be downloaded here, and soon from the website.

This eight-page booklet is a summary of the Project and Practices. Please share it freely with associates, colleagues, friends and family members; introducing them to the project and answering questions they may have before becoming involved.

The lighthouse is the Project’s symbol, may it also light the way for others.

This booklet is the group effort of Michael, Sandra Murphy, and me; along with help from the US Board, friends in The Netherlands, Belgium, and Romania. It features the lovely design work of graphic artist, Paul Miyamoto, a former Board member and a good friend of the Project.

The Love, Loss, and Forgiveness Project wishes to thank all those gave generously of their time and energy to make this publication a reality.

Welcome!

Spring Blessings

(Photo: © 2008 John Carlson )

Spring is in the air, and I feel like I should be on a plane to Ireland again ! ( we have been the last 2 springs! )

I just returned from New Mexico and spent 2 weeks with my Son, Rob. He is in the Air Force, and will be deployed to Qatar the end of May. It was wonderful to spend this time with him and be in some warmer weather.

I attended Michael's weekend workshop in Dec. at Dr. John's home in Traverse City. It was wonderful, even though it was a lot shorter than the others, there is always more learning in a great project.

I would like to share a blessing from John O' Donohue's book " To Bless the Space Between us". It is a wonderful book... if you get the chance, pick it up, it is great & uplifting with many beautiful blessings.

This blessing reminds me so of learning to love oneself..."

For Solitude

May you recognize in your life the presence, power and

light of your soul.

May you realize that you are never alone,

that your soul in its brightness and belonging

connects you intimately with the rhythm of the universe.

May you have respect for your individuality and difference.

May you realize that the shape of your soul is unique,

that you have a special destiny here,

that behind the facade of you life

there is something beautiful and eternal happening.

May you learn to see you self

with the same delight,

pride and expectation

with which God sees you in every moment.

I love this blessing, that last verse reminds me of the mirror practice.I remember the first time I did it, and how hard it was, and I could not do it. I have learned so much from this project, and the wonderful people I met in it. It helped me though the hardest time in my life. I cherish each friendship of the people I met, and learned something from each and every one.

I hope to do more in the future, and look forward to the project growing and passing on to others.

Hope to see you again sometime.

Much Love,

Suzie.

“Solitude” from: TO BLESS THE SPACE BETWEEN US (Doubleday 2008)

© John O'Donohue. All rights reserved. Used by permission of John’s estate. http://johnodonohue.com/books/

Sharings

"Sharings" is a new thread made up of postings written by participants of the love, loss, and forgiveness practices all over the world. Share with us your experiences, insights, joys, challenges etc. And use the comment section to communicate with with others on your journey towards living more loving lives!

Send your sharings to me, John Carlson at emailjdc@gmail.com


"One of the practices last weekend transformed my relationship with my brother. He and I had more (and better) times together in the last three days then, it seems, years and years. And we have great plans for the coming weekend... and plans to sail together this summer.

I fixed a mirror close to my computer monitor so I can turn my head and easily take gaze-breaks while I am here. I like it. I am very happy. "

John O.

Starting up in America!

This past weekend, I had the privilege of facilitating a "start-up" workshop in Troy, NY. This was a "sampler" workshop that gives people some experiences of the Practices with which they will become involved when they join a 9-person Love, Loss, and Forgiveness group. We have organized similar "start-up" workshops in Michigan, and also in Belgium, the Netherlands and Romania. It was an amazing experience for all of us, and I wrote the following to the participants:

Dear Storytellers Who Are Also Beautiful Witnesses and Guides!

I am personally very grateful for your participation in the start-up workshop this past weekend. Your involvement gives me much hope for the Project, nudging us all to continue the Practices we all need in order to lead more loving lives. These practices for living have never been part of any curriculum in schools, or many homes, for that matter.

It is not easy to Gaze at ourselves in the mirror, even though it is so very simple! Much easier to Gaze and give to others. Yet how can we love others, unconditionally, if we have so little time and love for ourselves?

It is not easy, and may seem disloyal to speak about our family when all was not well for us when growing up. Yet if we don't speak, we betray ourselves by continuing to carry burdens of resentment and self-neglect, and nothing will change. If we are to make life-saving changes at the global and national levels, we must start with ourselves.

As you may remember me saying, I was not able to speak to my mother before she died. I was too terrified, and I didn't have the words. Fifteen years after she died, I was able to have a ten-minute conversation with her in a session like we experienced together last weekend, and I was able to forgive and be forgiven and express unconditional love like I never had before, letting go of shame, guilt, rage, and more. The good news is that we can learn to say what needed to be said, even if important people in our lives are no longer with us, but why wait so long?

Many realized through the workshop, that if we are to become loving storytellers, witnesses, and guides with others, we must first become more loving towards ourselves; and we discovered, for most of us, how difficult that is!

You made a great start, and I will be with you in Soul and in Spirit along the way as you continue the Practices in your Community-based groups.

With love to you all, Michael

P.S. In order to give others some idea about what happens in Love, Loss, and Forgiveness groups, we would love to have you post your experiences of this weekend start-up workshop, including any artworks you would like to share, on this blog.

Send posts to John at emailjdc@gmail.com Please put the words "LLFP Blog Post" in the subject line. Thanks.

Let's keep the practices alive and movement towards more loving lives growing!

Michael on Radio Show from Bennington Vermont (UPDATED)

I will be joining Michael tomorrow to do a radio program from 10:00-11:00am about our efforts over the past two years to develop the Love, Loss, and Forgiveness Project as an international community of groups of nine who work independently on the practices of love, loss, and forgiveness. Dr. Carol Tunney, the shows hostess, spent a week in April of 2008 at a Love, Loss and Forgiveness workshop lead by Michael at Dzogchen Beara in Ireland. The Station is WBTN, 1370 AM, in Bennington, Vermont, USA. The show is "Natural Instincts: Health, Healing, and Conscious Living." So, if you are local, tune in. If not, I will try and post the audio here for you to enjoy.

(UPDATE) Here is an audio stream of the show. Enjoy, and thank you, Dr. Carol Tunney, for giving us the opportunty to get the word out!

The Many Faces of Loss

Loss takes on may guises. I am just beginning to understand this. I always associated loss with great sadness, but I am learning that loss is not always sad but is always life altering.

I am losing. I am losing weight and yes, that is a type of loss. All my life I have struggled with overweight issues. Discovering why it has been such a struggle is helping me let go of the past and move into the future that I desire.


I'm starting to let go. Letting go of all the things that my child-self thinks the extra pounds are hiding. What has it been hiding from if not my self. It's a wondrous path of discovery, and very scary. I fear that I will once again fail in my quest. I fear that my imaginings of what life will be like without a weight problem will not be any different. Then I ask, how could it not? Loss is transformative. To successfully confront this loss, I must be honest with myself. And yes, I must look at loss from a new perspective, one with anticipation of the new things to open up as opposed to holding onto the safety of the past. This is a joyous loss and one I need to celebrate while still honoring the feelings of loss.

The past informs our lives, but it does not need to dictate our future. I think that this loss is teaching me that I must Forgive-- forgive myself; Let Go-- lose the tethers that hold me back; Love-- the present, embracing all the possibilities that come without fear.

Unprepared Transformation

After a longish day cleaning out my parents' house, I was in the local grocery store. Dashing to get through my list so I could get home and wash off the grime and exhaustion, I was caught up short by the gaze. I mean frozen (or warmed) in my tracks. There it was in the ground beef section, beaming between a mom and her infant, rendering them oblivious of all but their oneness. It was stunning.

Then it was over as if it had not been. Mom turned to ponder the sirloin vs. the chuck and the infant, after a brief pause to see if Mom's focus would return, let his eyes wander. They shifted smoothly, but they had been somewhere very, very else.

I was unprepared for how transformed I, a mere observer, was by their gaze. Its radiated light bestowed a sense of wholeness and belonging upon me as well. When I too moved on, the grime and fatigue of the day were weightless. –Nancy Harding

Michael's Musings- The Winds of Spring

There is a huge storm churning the waves in south-west Ireland where I am living and writing these words, and it seems like Spring is blowing winter out to sea to make room for new beginnings.

Spring and Easter are special times to remind ourselves about Love, Loss, and Forgiveness; If we forget or neglect these facets of our lives, we will be chained to impossible dreams of others, going nowhere alone and forever carrying burdens that cause us endless suffering.

I knew little of love in earlier years. I was told that God loved me. Perhaps he or she did, but I certainly didn’t. As I look back, I see myself surrounded by good people who often spoke about love but practiced self-neglect. I learned obediently from them, and love never became a part of me until much later in life. Like those in my proximity, I also attempted to ignore most of my losses and my screams, and seldom if ever experienced loss as a catalyst for living a more loving life.

Furthermore, without self-love, forgiveness was an impersonal religious ritual that passed me by, never releasing me from shame and guilt and self-neglect. But in later years in the hospice and in my workshops I was fortunate to learn before it was too late.

Soon the storm will pass, and in the opening moments of spring we will film a workshop on Love, Loss, and Forgiveness as part of the Love, Loss, and Forgiveness Project. We trust that the films that emerge from the lives of courageous people who will offer us glimpses of their stories will encourage large numbers of people from everywhere embrace Love, Loss, and Forgiveness in their own lives. We will re-member our three natures—Mortal, Soul, and Spirit—and in remembering, enable ourselves to live lives fueled by love rather than wasting our mortality going through the motions of living paralyzed by fear and hatred.

Pause for a moment and gaze out to sea. Can you hear the promise of Spring from the far side of the wind?

Listen.

--Michael Murphy March 10th 2008: Castletownbere, West Cork

(Photo: J. Carlson copyright 2007)

What does "LOVE" mean?

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does 'love' mean? The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.


'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.'
Rebecca- age 8

'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'
Billy - age 4

'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'
Karl - age 5

'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.'
Chrissy - age 6

'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'
Terri - age 4

'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'
Danny - age 7

'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss'
Emily - age 8

'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,'
Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'
Noelle - age 7

'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'
Tommy - age 6

'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.
He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'
Cindy - age 8

'My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'
C lare - age 6

'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'
Elaine-age 5

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'
C hris - age 7

'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day'
Mary Ann - age 4

'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'
Lauren - age 4

'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image)
Karen - age 7

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.'
Mark - age 6

'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'
Jessica - age 8

And the final one...

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbour was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbour, the little boy said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

What does love mean to you?

Michael's Musings - Leadership

February: Is the month of my birthday. Even though I will be seventy-seven (usually on the last day of the month, but not this year), I have not retired. I have advanced. I am still pregnant with possibilities, and I have tried to adopt a new way of imagining my Spirit, because we are in urgent need of a new and vital form of Spirit that will lead us out of the dreadful dangers we are in. You and I must rise up and become the leaders we need. Let’s do it together. Happy birthday!
Leadership in the face of Dragons, Warriors, and Other Dangers

How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love. –Rilke

Rage and fire and dragons may be transformed by the loving feminine into a masculine Spirit that protects and makes safe rather than one that conquers and kills. Young boys are often snatched too early from the maternal (and sometimes paternal) Soul that would have taught them softness. Instead, thrust into the arena of competition that judges them winners or losers, and admires marines and other terror-mongers that breathe fire and death, they learn to become warriors who are feted as heroes. What causes us to make monsters out of men? All too often, marines and other warriors return home so very much alone, and discover that their brutalized Souls have forsaken them causing love to pass them by. Many are suffering from Post Traumatic Soul Derangement, and, like Narcissus, some kill themselves while others take pills and potions in a desperate attempt to fill the void. Others act with beauty and courage, and only in the face of beauty and courage will love reappear.

For our survival, we need a new paradigm for the masculine Spirit. We need a Spirit—a leader—that acts with beauty and courage and makes us safe for love. The age-old winner-warrior may promise security and appear to be powerful, but this Spirit creates legions of losers and coffins full of the dead who will haunt us.

In the umbra of a disastrous and untrustworthy US Presidential leadership wholly lacking in beauty and courage, we crave a new leadership that will inspire us to rise up and channel our energy into a powerhouse of love. We need a hopeful and inspirational alternative to the hunter-gatherer leaders or the heroic warrior leaders who are violent Spirits from the dark side of history that still repeats itself as we fight each other and consume ourselves to death. We need not wait for the coming of a new political Spirit. We may adopt this new paradigm of masculine Spirit that will love our feminine Soul, and then our Mortal nature will feel safe and well prepared to live the loving life. Then and only then will the world be transformed. --Michael Murphy

Letting Go: Not Like Everyone Else

Not Like Everyone Else

Long ago I figured it out. That’s just the way I am.
For example: I have never been able to understand
what's so great about sliced bread,
search everywhere for the other variety.
And there is no desire lurking inside me
for a large-screen TV.

Still, it seems a bit strange that now, mostly,
what I feel is this sense of peace.
Dylan Thomas would never have approved (at least,
not if we believe what he says in the villanelle).
Toward the end Dad was sleeping all the time—
even when someone shook him,
called persistently in his ear.
How much additional transition is there,
I ask myself, between one "good night"
and the next?

Let him go, gently.

He was ten weeks shy of 94 years
and, until a month ago,
could have engaged you
in an intelligent conversation. Can’t see
how we have any right to be upset.

Had either of them departed quickly,
never suffered their prolonged frailty,
a younger son might still be inclined to dwell
upon parental insufficiency. Instead,
over time, youth and age exchanged
places. (In the end, now-sightless eyes
still twinkling, Dad even introduced me
to everyone as his father.) And I forged
a bond with each that otherwise
might still be counted among the missing.

Let him go, gently.

Perhaps, I decide, it’s not so strange
that now what I feel, mostly,
is this sense of peace.

Steve Bloom
January 2007

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Michael's Musings - On Being Pregnant

In 1964, Robert Coles interviewed a poor black woman who spoke of the desperation of her life, and the difficulty of finding happiness:

“To me, having a baby inside me is the only time I’m really alive.”

She was right and she always will be, for life is all about being pregnant. It is all about being alive and feeling alive with love inside, for that is what the inner child gives us. Yes, a woman feels alive during pregnancy, but if the life she feels is that of a child other than her own, the feeling will pass after birth and not return until the next pregnancy.

It is only when we feel pregnant with love for ourselves that we feel really alive and know why Mona Lisa smiles.

Women need to be pregnant, and men need to be pregnant. There is no other way of being in touch once again with our whole nature. There is no other way of re-membering.

For men, making a killing during the hunting season or in the battlefield or in the stock market doesn’t do it. Acquiring mounds of minerals and magnifying our net worth, or scoring bulls eyes with hoards of women, or being immersed in any other addiction does not fill the emptiness that only being pregnant and re-membering can fill. Having a son, and being filled with pride is no substitute for being pregnant with our own inner child and filled with love, for only when we are filled with love are we prepared to become lovers of our sons and peacemakers instead of warriors.

Tony Blair quoted Thornton Wilder* at the Memorial Service to the British people who died in the Twin Towers: “But soon we shall die and all memory of those five will have left the earth, and we ourselves shall be loved for a while and forgotten. But the love will have been enough; all those impulses of love return to the love that made them. Even memory is not necessary for love. There is a land of the living and a land of the dead and the bridge is love, the only survival, the only meaning.”

Let us all be aware and celebrate our life-long pregnancy, for love is the only survival, the only meaning. --Michael Murphy

*The Bridge of San Luis Rey, Thornton Wilder

Michael's Musings -HAPPY NEW YEAR

This is the Year of Love, Loss, and Forgiveness

The year in which we begin to replace the prevailing atmosphere of hatred and fear with one of love and creativity. If we are to live our lives lovingly, we must start with ourselves and then spread the movement outwards and upwards. First, we must re-member. We must recover and treasure the three members of our nature, for only when these three parts are in balance are we capable of giving and receiving unconditional love

This is a picture of unconditional love. There is nothing at all between Alma and Ellen except love, and the love is expressed in The Gaze. The three parts of their Trinitarian nature are so apparent. We clearly see their Mortal selves, just as they are. We see their Souls: their feminine, witnessing nature that does not judge and does not expect, but simply gazes with love. We see the masculine nature of their Spirits: exuding energy and trust, creating a place of safety in which the Mortal in both Ellen and Alma can be in love. This is the picture of the Mortal, the Soul, and the Spirit together in harmony and love. This is what we are capable of, and this is what we must re-member, and this year 2008 will be our year of re-membrance. 2008 is such a wonderful year in which to re-member! The 2 reminds us of Soul and Spirit as do the 00, and the 8 seems to be a perfect symbol of Soul and Spirit interwoven with the Mortal! So let’s re-member together!

Letting Go: Then and Now

When I was 16 my father passed away. I was 55 when my Mom died. These two seminal life passages were so very different for me. What was the difference between Then and Now?

Loosing my Dad at such an early age left me filled with questions...how different would my life be, would my self-confidence and esteem issues be what they are? At 16, my response to his death was on such a deep level, I did not have the emotional depth to really understand it. My relationship with my mom became contentious. She was left a window at 45 with 3 children to finish raising. I was her youngest child, a teenage daughter who was defiant, with more than a little anger, lost and lashing out.. Mothers and daughters...it's a complex relationship under the best of circumstance.

In my adult life, her home was my haven, the place I returned to time after time. Her basement held boxes from each of the many moves in my life. I always knew I had a home with her. So when it became clear she could no longer live by herself, I moved her into my house. For the last 4 years of her life, she lived with me.

It created hardships, but brought far more joy. I slowed my life down for her. Parkinson's and dementia was slowly taking away her physical self, but her spirit never faltered.

Unexpectedly, Mom feel gravely ill. Per her directives, we began hospice care at home. What a remarkable gift this was from her. My sister stayed with me for the 3 weeks prior to Mom's passing. I had never spent that much time with my sister and it created an even stronger bond between us. 24/7 just us, no husband or kids, no work, just Mom, my sister and me. It gave us time together in a way that would never have happened had Mom not wanted hospice.

To be with the person who gave you life at the moment they pass to the next realm is remarkably life changing. As my sister and I each held a hand, Mom slipped away surrounded by her photos, her music and her two daughters. It was sad, but so beautiful to experience.

It is only now, one year later that I realize the different experiences I have had with my parents' deaths. The teenager is still struggling to understand what happened while the adult woman is honored to have been allowed to wittness such an intimate time in one's life. Through the experience of my mother's death I am now able to ask the questions and begin to let go of that angry, scared child who lost trust and felt deserted by her father. My mother gave me that gift by allowing me to help her die. It is the greatest gift of all and one I am eternally grateful for.

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Imagine Loving Yourself!

We are urged to love our neighbors as ourselves, and that is a disaster for the neighbors. In fact, most of us hardly know our neighbors and probably don’t like them never mind love them. No big surprise, because we are also unfamiliar with ourselves, and loving ourselves is something that we have been lead to believe is weak or self-indulgent or narcissistic, regardless of the fact that Narcissus killed himself because he discovered that he was unable to love himself. What if we really loved ourselves and then acted in the same manner towards those around us! Why should the love of another be the primary aspiration of our lives, and why not start with ourselves?

Imagine! Waking up and saying “Good morning! How glad I am to see you!” Imagine being our own best friend: someone we can trust, and someone to whom we can take our concerns and our worries without fear of judgement. Imagine being comfortable with solitude yet relishing connectedness!

Loving ourselves is giving voice to our feminine Soul nature, and the feminine within men is often unfamiliar. If we love ourselves or love other men, then we imagine we must be gay regardless of the fact that sexual preference has little or nothing to do with love. If we love ourselves, we might believe that we prefer masturbation to a sexual relationship with another, regardless of the fact that masturbation and sexual relationships may have nothing to do with love, and may be more akin to scratching an itch than to being an expression of caring. If we love a woman other than our wife that love may be seen as off limits. It must mean that we want sex, and we may have the erection to prove it, regardless of the fact that we can love ourselves and others without needing the sex to demonstrate it. So men are often lonely and out of touch with their feminine nature and may only permit themselves sportstalk, back slapping and a variety of addictions in association with other men, and chaperoned exchanges with women.

For women, loving themselves is the best preparation for unconditionally loving others. Many women who have little love for themselves dedicate their lives to filling the feminine void in men, but filling the emptiness of another is impossible as broken marriages and other relationships tell us, and neither the woman nor the man is satisfied once the bloom of sex is dimmed.

So let’s imagine loving ourselves. We will need to practice forgiveness, letting go of the doubts, judgements, and limitless ways in which we torture ourselves for not being someone else. Let’s look in the mirror, and love what we see. Let’s meditate on loving ourselves, and when we are full, the love will spill over and nourish others.

If we want a Happy New Year, let’s give it a try.
What do you think?
Please comment!
With love, Michael

On Re-membering My Nature

Gazing at the sea and on out to the horizon, I notice where sky and sea come together, and imagine that this is the meeting place of the Spirit and Soul of nature. The Spirit of nature is astral, uplifting, inspirational. The Soul is moist, deep, life-giving and beautiful to behold.

A boat moves slowly across the horizon from left to right, and I gaze until it is out of sight. It is there for a moment, and then it is gone, for the boat is like my Mortal nature: fragile in the immensity of Soul and Spirit, and only visible for the briefest time before it dies to our sight.

For the time being, my feminine Soul-nature keeps my Mortal boat afloat, and my masculine Spirit-nature gives me the wind and the courage to sail on.

Wonder full.

~ Michael Murphy

Gazing at Dzogchen Beara

Dr. Murphy Gazing (Photo: J. Carlson copyright 2007)

Dzogchen Beara is the site of this Spings taping of the workshops that will lead to the learning films on Love, Loss and Forgiveness. These short, experiential films, are a cornerstone in the developing program to aid us all in learning more about our relationships to ourselves and love, loss and forgiveness.

Here is what Michael says about this special place:
"I rediscovered my Celtic roots on the Beara Peninsula in Ireland a handful of miles from where my father was born. Beara is a spectacular speck on the planet where the wild masculine Spirit of nature is so much in evidence in the clouds and the wind, and the earthy, moist feminine Soul of nature bids us welcome in this Irish place. It is the feminine that is so frighteningly absent in our modern masculine super-Spiritual industrial and scientific world, and this vital feminine is so palpable in rural Ireland. In Beara, my Mortal self discovered the Spirit and Soul of nature, which in turn allowed me to rediscover my own Spirit and Soul. I imagine this reunion as a Celtic Trinity that is stable and loving, in contrast to the masculinized Trinity worshiped by many religions that is unbalanced because of the exclusion of the feminine Soul. The Celtic Trinity is a shamrock-like connection of Mortal, Soul and Spirit that we have forgotten. This Celtic-inspired rediscovery of who we are and where we came from is the subject of "Secrets of Love, Loss & Forgiveness."

For those of you who don’t yet know it, Dzogchen Beara is a small Buddhist monastery with a view over the Atlantic that is beyond belief. Workshop participants are invited to attend the morning meditation, and the community offers us loving kindness, food, and the most amazing sanctuary in which Soul, Spirit, and Mortal can be in harmony. Dzogchen Beara is to me an incarnation of the place that is Beara."

Announcement: Michael's Musings

For those of you who know Michael, one of the refreshing things about him is his facile and creative mind. Here begins a new thread called "Michael's Musings."

From Eurekas at four in the morning, to uncensored thoughts on society and the psyche, Michael let's his thinking free in this new thread that is sure to stir our own thoughts and inspire us to comment. Enjoy!

Michael's Musings

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

We often turn ourselves into someone that we dislike intensely because a parent or other important person berated us so often (in rage and loathing and self-righteousness that they would deny) that we began to believe that we were the person they said we were.. In judgmental rage-infested bursts, they called us useless or dumb or wild or mean or a nobody, and they may even have assaulted us physically or sexually as well as emotionally, and we began to live their image of who we are in excruciating detail. When we looked in the mirror, we detested the creation that we saw.

What we see in the mirror if we will gaze, is the loss of innocence. A terrifying void is created by the absence of Soul and Spirit who fled from the abuse, and we attempt to avoid that reflection at all costs by refusing to look. It is the loss of self-esteem that we see in the mirror, and it drives us mad, for we know that we cannot live lovingly without our Soul and our Spirit. It drives us mad with hatred or it drives us mad with grief, and we become depressed or filled with anxiety or, like Narcissus, we may kill ourselves. Psychiatrists give us diagnoses of depression or panic or anxiety and prescribe pills, but no pill ever changes a reflection nor fills a void.

Take this pill,
It helps you not to shout.
It takes away the life
You’re better off without

~R.D.Laing

Letting Go: A Magical Experience

We got the call from my brother. Papa had just passed away at the nursing home. My mom and I went out the door.....I suddenly felt him everywhere at once, in the stars, the fragrant night air, the cricket's chorus, the trees, the earth......more potently present than where he had just been, in a body that was broken and painful and uncooperative.

As we moved towards the car, I found myself turning to the thick darkness and saying, "Dad, we're going to say goodbye to your body, but I know you are here....and we'll be right back!"

We arrived at the nursing home, and then we saw his face, and he looked like himself for the first time in a year, really. No more contortion of discomfort, smooth as a calm lake, and a gorgeous smile! So what was your transition like, Dad? Who escorted you through the portal? What does it feel like to expand in every direction with no limitations? How wonderful to be done with your body, and begin anew. I see/feel your smile inside my head/heart and am delighting in this magical experience. I know the waves will hit me harder down the road, but for now I relish in this palpable connection with this mystery, this miracle of death, and with the pleasure of celebrating amazing, brilliant, kind hearted, wonder-filled you with everyone, and with myself. Thank you!

Your loving daughter,
Laura


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