Loss takes on may guises. I am just beginning to understand this. I always associated loss with great sadness, but I am learning that loss is not always sad but is always life altering.
I am losing. I am losing weight and yes, that is a type of loss. All my life I have struggled with overweight issues. Discovering why it has been such a struggle is helping me let go of the past and move into the future that I desire.
I'm starting to let go. Letting go of all the things that my child-self thinks the extra pounds are hiding. What has it been hiding from if not my self. It's a wondrous path of discovery, and very scary. I fear that I will once again fail in my quest. I fear that my imaginings of what life will be like without a weight problem will not be any different. Then I ask, how could it not? Loss is transformative. To successfully confront this loss, I must be honest with myself. And yes, I must look at loss from a new perspective, one with anticipation of the new things to open up as opposed to holding onto the safety of the past. This is a joyous loss and one I need to celebrate while still honoring the feelings of loss.
The past informs our lives, but it does not need to dictate our future. I think that this loss is teaching me that I must Forgive-- forgive myself; Let Go-- lose the tethers that hold me back; Love-- the present, embracing all the possibilities that come without fear.
